How can we lose it before we find it

I don't know what really I feel right now, but it feels like I can't taste the ground on my feet. So nervous of being a new mom, a new parent. I believe it is not too young for me to have baby, cos in fact many younger women than me success to have even more than 1 child now.

But it is me, some hesitance in me. You know, seeing many problem around us. Many teenager problem that makes us, a parent to be, worried. Is it too far to worry it? I don't know exactly. But the fear still in me.

So nervous! Will it be all good, will it be smooth, will it be just fine?! It is exited yet thrilling. Like you can't wait to see the future that you will face it in a few months with some sneak peek that you could imagine for a bit, but at the same time you still not sure what the things will be about. It looks like you will enter the grey zone yet you could clearly see many colors in it!

I know it will be so new and everything new always has it's own excitement.

But baby, all I want you to know that mommy just want to give all the best thing to you. So that I'm worrying much lately. Just want to make sure from now that you will have better experience than what we had before.

Life, world, people are not that good for you to grow (no offence for mom's view), but I will make sure that we will always beside you. At least to prepare you to see it all and to face it all.

At the end, verily it's not only about world that we literally live on it to be worried about, there's something more important, called 'Hari Akhir'. The day of judgement, the day that we, your parent should prepare for you and even us, to face.

In the name of Allah, the most gracious the most merciful.

We want you best.